behind the trigger

I am the voice that is never heard
speaking to a crowd that refuses to listen
dismissing my thoughts as random ramblings
ignoring my cries for help until I scream with bullets
I am the voice behind the trigger
ignored until I pull it
forcing the world to listen
but they don’t hear me
refuse to hear me
it seems I’ll never be heard
since my words are ignored when I speak
I make the bullets scream
and the sirens yell
mothers wail
still, I am not heard
the screams are too loud
the wailing draws a crowd
drowning out my voice
why won’t anyone listen?

don’t you see me?
look at me
covered in pain,
anger and frustration
just give me a little attention
a little hope
some small sign that my existence
is not in vain
look at me
the outcome of all
that you have/haven’t done
a reflection of your actions/inaction
can you see yourself
in my eyes?
hear your voice when I speak?
it is your blood
coursing through my veins
boiling as I reach my peak
cold steel in hand
shaking
impatiently clinching
eyes shut
as the bullet explodes
seeking a target
screaming
demanding attention
no longer asking
I’m done masking my feelings
this is my moment of healing
stray bullets revealing
what you refuse to accept;
I’ve lost my way

nothing lasts forever

maybe I was wishing for a fairytale or I’m just a hopeless romantic

but through it all I thought somehow we managed to become friends

so deep inside I came to believe we would never end

but the old folks always told me to never say never

because nothing’s ever promised tomorrow today

and nothing lasts forever

so I try to be honest

I was always honest with him

just maybe not to myself

spent too much time waiting for the feelings we once felt

waiting for the spark to return to a fire

that stopped burning long ago

I kept holding on to yesterday and praying for a different tomorrow

even though I know nothing’s ever promised tomorrow today

and nothing lasts forever

and it hurts to even speak these words

because I can’t help but wonder why

my prayers were never heard

wonder why my love wasn’t returned

or wasn’t strong enough for both of us

but I know he loved me

I know he loves me

but there’s a difference between loving someone

and being in love with someone

and nothing lasts forever but be honest

yeah it hurts

but it’s the only way